I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
