I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
