so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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