Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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