it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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