i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
