I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize