As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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