why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
