So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
