I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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