Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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