I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
