talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
