i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
