NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
