is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
