Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
