chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
