i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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