So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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