did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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