no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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