that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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