WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
