I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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