They should really pass out barf bags in church
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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