did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
