so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
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No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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