so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
