Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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