Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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