Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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