I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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