I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
