Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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