your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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