bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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