brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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