just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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