Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I could make wine with my vomit
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
