Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
