in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
