she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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