Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Farmville is her only friend.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
