I hate your face
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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