Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
