Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was CRYING into my vagina
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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