I wish I could punch you in the face.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
