every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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