I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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