So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
