Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
