He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
