i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
