You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
