fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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