ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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