Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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