Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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